Prudence is such a funny word. So close to “prudish,” it brings to mind old-biddies with tight-lipped smiles and blouses buttoned all the way to the top. But it has its place. Prudence means careful and sensible. It means “marked by sound judgment”.
I was listening to the radio this morning, and heard the news about the retired NBA star, Antoine Walker. Apparently this star athlete, who made over $110 million in the course of his recent career, is already over $4 million in debt.
A big part of the reason, it seems, is that he gave so much of it away. He was so overly-generous with his wealth that he dissipated all of it and then some.
I understand how it could happen. With the kind of money he was earning, it must have seemed to him, and to everyone around him, that it would never run out. And really, when you have that much, how could you ever turn anyone down? When your third cousin once removed approaches you with a sad story of bad-luck and bills to pay, how could you possibly say no?
It would be very hard to do — unless you had made a firm commitment to prudence.
My husband and I sat down years ago and had a good square look at our finances. We made sure our kids had their education funds all set. We squirreled away funds for retirement, for rainy days, for vacations, and all the little what-nots that can come up unexpectedly. Only then did we decide how much of the rest we felt comfortable giving.
We are SO lucky and blessed to have such plenty. Part of how we show our gratitude for our abundance is by using it to purchase feelings of security, peace, freedom, and generosity. Squandering money without thought doesn’t send out a message of abundance and generosity, it sends out a message of recklessness and ingratitude.
So:
If I have inspired you to give, then please, let me also inspire you to give prudently. Gifts don’t have to be big and expensive to have huge impact. I truly believe that a well-timed and well-intentioned small gift can make a bigger difference than hundreds of dollars. Think in terms of a free cup of coffee. Or how about a hand-written note to “make a wish”? Or a single rose. It costs only a dollar or so, and what could be more beautiful?
And if you ever find yourself as flat broke as poor Antoine Walker, you can always give away your smiles. They are free, and the best gift of all. 
I hope this has inspired you. Happy Giving!
October 29th, 2009 - 3:07 pm
Recently my friend Pat paid a fine for someone at the library, it was a few cents but they were STUNNED and so grateful. She laughed to me later saying “ok it was just .25 cents!” But what an impact.
I was in the grocery store line the next day and the woman in front of me had forgotten her wallet. She had enough cash to cover almost all of her items, she was short $2. So she put back a loaf of bread. Thinking of Pat, I said, ‘may I pay for that’ and just handed the $2 to the cashier. They were both surprised and delighted. She tried to say no but I assured her it was no big deal and we all felt so light and happy after the exchange. So yes, even a little bit goes a long way. I think people just love to feel that some, especially a stranger cares!
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October 29th, 2009 - 4:39 pm
Anna, those are *perfect* examples. I absolutely love them. And I just love what you did for that lady, buying her bread! What a lovely gesture, and a total vibe-raiser.
Thank you!
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October 29th, 2009 - 4:53 pm
Thanks for the inspiring posts! I just have to share how wonderful it felt to be the recipient of a similar gift that was small in nominal value but big in heart. My son and I were at a park recently, walking across a bridge over a pond with some ducks in it. There was a machine for dispensing duck food, but I had to tell my son I didn’t happen to have any quarters on me, and he was so disappointed! Happily, a man walking by overheard us and offered us a quarter. It positively made my son’s day! Later, after an ice cream transaction had put change in my pocket, we saw the same man at a distance and my son was able to rush over and give the quarter back (if we hadn’t happened upon him, we would have just paid it forward). In this case, the dollar transaction at the end of the day was zero; but the lesson of sharing was priceless.
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November 1st, 2009 - 2:43 pm
Loving these inspiring posts!!!:)
It IS an abundant universe!
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November 2nd, 2009 - 10:12 am
What wonderful posts! I have received gifts just like that (most recently the most delicious hot chocolate from a woman I was able to help!) and there is nothing that raises the vibe higher, than perhaps being able to give. I will second that it is most definitely the thought that counts. I love being able to help people though my currency isn’t money. It makes me feel so incredibly lucky and abundant *and* makes me appreciate what I have to offer.
I love too that children understand this inherently. I can’t count the times I’ve been blown away by children in my community who have selflessly given their precious treasures to others simply to make them smile. It’s a beautiful thing!
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November 2nd, 2009 - 4:33 pm
Thank you again Kate!
And Elisabeth, yes again, you nailed it. “There is nothing that raises the vibe higher than being able to give.” Thank you my dear, you just gave me my next tweet! lol
And a huge yes to children understanding this inherently. I see it in my own kids, and nothing makes my heart swell more.
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November 3rd, 2009 - 8:51 am
Thank you for this post. When I first read what you are doing, I immediately wanted to do the same…and my thoughts were big scale.
This post reminds me that leaving myself short isn’t the way to go. It’s about taking what I already have and giving it.
I realize how much time I give to people when they are in need of a little coaching or help. I do give a lot of time and advice and know this is more of a contribution than I’ve realized.
Thank you for reminding me that I can give in the way I can give and it is just as important and meaningful as ways others give.
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November 3rd, 2009 - 9:10 am
and, dear LJ, what you have to give is so precious. I’d rather have your friendship than heaps of money any day! Sorry for the gush-fest…I couldn’t help it!
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