If I gave you $100 or $500 or $10,000 dollars, just because I thought you were lovely, how would you feel? Would you accept the gift, feeling expansive, honored, and gracious? Or would you shrink from the gift, feeling uncomfortable or even ashamed? Would you ask me to please pass it on to someone more needy, or more worthy?

If you are among the latter, I want to talk to you. I want to convince you that you DO deserve a gift.

I’m not saying that you deserve it because you are extraordinary or exceptional or even particularly virtuous. For all I know, you are utterly, shockingly mediocre. For all I know, you are shockingly worse than mediocre.

To which I say: So what?

Look. Maybe your house is a big disgusting mess. Maybe you yelled at your kids this morning or snapped at your husband on his way out the door. Or maybe it’s that you’re fat, and you believe that only thin and fit people deserve love. Maybe you never finished that degree, and you cringe every time you think of it. Maybe you are a procrastinator who never follows through on anything. Maybe you struggle with addictions or mental illness. One way or another, you have let yourself down. You are furious, ashamed, and disappointed because somehow, someway, you know you are supposed to be better than this.

Let me suggest to you, gently, that your feelings of unworthiness stem not from humility, but from ego. It’s your ego that’s telling you you should be other than what you are. Your ego is pushing you, whipping you, and abusing you. It’s trying to convince you that if you could just be a little different, a little more, or a little better, that you will somehow reach some mystical, magical place of worthiness, and all will be well.

Well, screw it. Your ego is a damned sham. It’s telling you dirty lies. Say it with me now: “Screw you, ego. I’m fine just as I am. I am worthy. I am enough.”

And then: Celebrate yourself. Be kind to yourself. Even if you are fat. Even if you haven’t done laundry in three weeks and sent your kids to school in dirty jeans. Even if you’ve failed yourself, over and over and over again.

Step out through your back door, right now, look up at the sky, and demand a gift. Claim it. Say it out loud: “I am lovely. I deserve a gift.”

And then, when you step back inside, do me a favor and stop being so darned hard on yourself. Shift your focus away from what you are not, back to all that you are. Notice when you hold a door open for someone. Notice when you smile at a baby. Notice when you kiss your kids goodnight and read them bedtime stories. Notice the warmth in your heart. Why should you be more than this? You are not perfect now and will never be perfect, but you are enough.

Forgive yourself everything.

When you can do this, you will find true humility. And that is when, finally, you will be able to receive your gifts gladly. And that is when they will begin to arrive, plentifully.

Now, onto today’s recipient:

I am happy to announce my very first reader recipient nominee! The nominees I’ve received so far have been utterly fantastic. I can’t begin to tell you how happy they make me, so be sure to keep them coming. I have already added several to my giving list for sure, and it was such a pleasure to do so. But today, for my first pick, I could only choose one, and I picked K., sister to Devon. Here is why Devon thought she ought to win:

“She’s my sister… she’s probably not your typical nominee… but she deserves something wonderful to happen to her! She works full time and is starting nursing school, because after 4 years of college and 2.5 years in the business world, she decided she’d rather take care of people. She doesn’t make a lot of money but her job will help her in the nursing field so she likes it.

She gives to charity – she has two sponsored children in the Third World – but mostly I just wanted to nominate her because it would be amazing if she won a nice treat for herself “

Devon: Thank you so much. Your humble nomination exactly fits the bill, and I couldn’t agree more: Your sister deserves a treat!

K., I hope you enjoy it. You DO deserve it. You are absolutely lovely. Hooray!